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    A Diet Made Up Of Wishful Shrinking

    | Oxford, OH, USA |

    (The customer orders a large mix of cake batter and chocolate ice creams, with cookie dough mixed in.)

    Customer: “Do you know how many calories are in this?”

    Me: “I don’t know. Probably over 1000.”

    Customer: “Oh God, you’re kidding right? Please tell me you’re kidding. I’m on a diet and I can’t have anything over 100 calories.”

    Me: “Sorry to hear that.”

    Customer: “I feel horrible about myself. I’m going to get fat. Please, tell me it’s under 100 calories.”

    Me: “Okay. It’s 95.”

    Customer: *instantly perks up* “Really? I can’t believe this whole thing is only 95 calories! I feel great about myself now!”

    (The customer skips off and goes to her girlfriends, bragging about how she’s sticking to her diet.)