A Cut And (Blow)Dry Case Of Mistaken Identity

(I’m in the waiting room of a salon. A man walks in and approaches the receptionist. Alarmingly, he’s carrying a claw hammer.)

Man: “I need to see [name].”

Receptionist: “Let me see… do you know what she’s here for?”

Man: “B**** works here.”

Receptionist: “I’m sorry, but no one works here by that name.”

Man: “She tell you to cover for her? Get her a** down here now.”

Receptionist: “I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Man: “Alright, you get her fat a** down here now, or I’ll learn you a thing or two. Five… four… three… two… one!”

(The second he hits one, he swings the hammer into the desk. The receptionist screams and takes cover. The man swings the hammer and yells.)

Man: “Try to take my kids from me? B****, you’re gonna get fired for sure now, come out before someone gets hurt!”

(The police respond quickly and subdue the guy. As the cops take our statements, the man is raving about how his ex-wife has taken his kids, and how this showed her, and how her boss here would fire her. The kicker? All the employees agreed they had never heard of the woman!)