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    A Customer To Send You Up In (Broken) Arms

    | Berlin, Germany | Technology, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I have a broken hand, and have my arm in a plaster.)

    Me: “Hello this is [name] from IT support. What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “Hello, I have a problem.”

    Me: “Okay, what is your concern?”

    Customer: “As I said, I have a problem.”

    Me: “Okay, I should be more specific. What is your problem about?”

    Customer: “My computer doesn’t work as it should.”

    Me: “What is it your computer is supposed to do? I mean what program do you want to start, or what you want to do with your computer?”

    Customer: “Are you a moron? I told you my computer doesn’t work. I want you to fix it right now!”

    Me: “I need more inf—”

    Customer: “You’re just being stupid and lazy! You’re a bunch of f****** morons! I will get your a** fired, and I will get it done today!”

    Me: “Please calm down and—”

    Customer: “Don’t tell me what I have to do! I want to talk to your manager!”

    (My manager sits in the same office and has heard everything.)

    Manager: “Give her to me.”

    (She takes the call and leaves the room. Some moments pass as my manager talks to her. She comes back crying. I get the customer back on my phone; I’m really mad, as my manager is a friendly person.)

    Customer: “WILL YOU NOW HELP ME, MORON? I NEED MY COMPUTER TOD—”

    Me: “Shut up.”

    Customer: “What!”

    Me: “I’ll give it a last try. If you yell at me, I’ll quit the call, and you will have to fix your computer by yourself, understand?”

    Customer: “Erm… well yes, but—”

    Me: “No ‘buts’. So, what program do you want to use?”

    (From this point on, it’s easy. I get the information I need to take her case, and give it to a team of specialists. After the call my coworker gets my attention.)

    Coworker: “What the h*** did you just do?”

    Me:*looking down* “Oh, yeah. I broke my plaster.”

    Coworker: “You just yelled at a customer, defended our manager, and risked your job, and the only thing you care for is your plaster?”

    Me: “I thought it was a really nice plaster.”

    (This makes my manager smile again, and all my other coworkers laugh. I still work for the company, but now all the angry and rude customers are sent directly to me.)