Bleeding Love

(Although I’m not much of a cook, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with an elaborate, homemade dinner. He is delighted.)

Boyfriend: “I can’t believe you did all this! You obviously know the fastest way to a man’s heart.”

Me: *missing the point* “Through a hole in his ribcage?”

(My boyfriend stops chewing.)

Me: “Oh. Stomach. I meant stomach.”