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    A Burning Question

    | Sheffield, UKSheffield, UK |

    (The fire alarm has gone off. The fire department have arrived and the whole building is evacuated. A customer attempts to enter.)

    Me: “Excuse me, the store is closed due to a fire.”

    Customer: “I only want a couple of things.”

    Me: “There is a fire. We have evacuated the building.” *points to scared looking customers and employees*

    Customer: “I only want bread an milk.”

    Me: “The building is on fire! I’m sorry, sir, but we will be unlikely to serve anyone until tomorrow!”

    Customer: “Oh! Does that mean the fresh vegetables are on offer?” *tries to push past me*

    Me: “No. Nothing is on offer at all because the store is closed.”

    (At this point more customers are arriving.)

    Customer #2: “So we can’t even pay? Those people got sent home with their stuff for free!” *points to customers loading their cars with stolen goods*

    Me: “No, they have stolen those things. They have been caught on camera, and they will be prosecuted when the emergency is over.”

    Customer #2: “Oh, so I can get my stuff for free?”

    Original customer: “Does that mean it’s free if we eat it all tonight?”

    Me: “No. Wait…what?”