Me: “Thank you for calling ****. What is the problem with your telephone line?”

Customer: “The squirrels.”

Me: “The–what? Sorry?”

Customer: “Those damn squirrels are watching me.”

Me: “Uh…do you have a problem with your telephone line?”

Customer: “Yes, the squirrels have nested on it, and they watch me while I’m sleeping…”

Me: “I’m sure they’re not.”

Customer: “You calling me a liar?”