Making A Spectacle Of Oneself

(I am a substitute teacher who has regularly been in a district for five months. Most of the students know or at least recognize me. I usually wear large, professor-like glasses, but on one of my last days in the district I’m wearing my contacts. This occurs between me and a student whom I have had actual full-length conversations with and should know me very well. He is a compulsive liar, so he’s spinning one of his tales in first period.)

Student: “Yeah, I’ve broken a lot of school rules today already, and I’ll probably break more.”

Me: *handing out papers* “I’m so sure, [Student].”

Student: “Wait, how do you know my name?”

Me: *pause* “[Student], it’s [My Name]. I’m just not wearing my glasses!”

Student: “Oh, it is you!”

Me: “Seriously? I’ve been here for five months!”

Student: *shrugs*

(I guess Clark Kent didn’t have such a bad idea after all!)