Meth Make You Act Stupid

(I’m in science class, and we are pouring multiple liquids and measuring their density. After that, we pour all the liquids into a large beaker to see the effects of their density. I am a bright child but I like to act as if I had no common sense.)

Me: “Ah! I spilled meth on me!”

Partner: “…what?!” *multiple people stare at me*

Me: “…methanol. I spilled methanol on myself.”

Me: *as we are measuring* “Hey [Partner], what is methanol exactly?”

Partner: “Paint thinner.”

Me: “Really!? So my skin color’s gonna fade?”

Partner: *shakes head*

(Later, once we’ve poured all the liquids in the beaker…)

Me: “Oooh! It’s so pretty! Can I drink it?”

Partner: *attempting to hold back laughter, because he’s finally caught on to what I’ve been doing* “No, [Me], no.”

Me: “But it’s so pretty! And it smells like juice! Just a lil’ sip?”

Partner: “No. You’ll die.”

Me: “Pleaaaaase?”

Partner: “If you die, you won’t be able to debate the alien theory tomorrow in history.”

Me: “…Fine.”