Something Is Wrong And I Can’t Put My Finger On It

(My girlfriend, a year below me, is taking the same social studies class I had taken the year before. The teacher is missing a few digits from two fingers on his right hand.)

Girlfriend: “[Teacher], what DID happen to your hand?”

Teacher: “Well, I grew up in the city. Not in a very good area. One day when I was still pretty young my mom gave me $5 and sent me to a nearby store to pick up some food. When I got there, these bigger kids were hanging outside. They knocked me around a bit, and took my money, and I went home crying.”

(By now my girlfriend was somewhat riveted with the story.)

Teacher: “So when I got home and told my ma what happened. She gave me another $5 and a stick, and told me I had to go back out. I tried to protest but she just looked down at me and said ‘today you have to learn to be a man.'”

Girlfriend: *snapping out of it* “Wait, wait… that’s not what happened! [My Name] told me last year. He said your hand got cut when you were trying to fix a lawnmower!”

(She got to regale this tale to me later, along with everyone laughing since she was apparently the only one in class who was falling for his story.)