Swearing Like A White Anglo-Saxon Protestant

(There is a wasp in the classroom. It has been flying around for several minutes and finally lights on the podium behind the oblivious professor.)

Student: “Excuse me, sir, but there’s a wasp right behind you.”

Professor: “What?” *whirls around* “Where?”

(The wasp promptly takes off and lands on the projector screen.)

Professor: *chuckling nervously* “Well, uh, I’m something of a pacifist, so… I’m going to see if I can get him to go outside.”

(Despite the protests of many bloodthirsty students, myself included, he opens the window. He then proceeds with the lecture, gesturing forcefully at the projector screen as always, occasionally shaking it.)

Professor: *jokingly* “Now, don’t you sting me!”

(A few minutes later, the wasp flies again, this time to land on the professor’s shirt.)

Student: “IT’S ON YOU!”

Professor: “Wha— Oh!” *swats at the wasp frantically*

(The wasp makes its way out the window at last.)

Professor: “Wow. That was a little frightening! Good thing it didn’t sting me, though. Ya’ll would’ve heard quite a few choice words.”