How To Make Them As Silent As A Mouse, Part 3

(I work at an IT help desk during college, helping both students and faculty. We have a call from a Computer Science professor; he is in the middle of teaching a classroom and wants a new mouse.)

Me: *entering classroom* “You asked for a new mouse, right?”

Professor: “It took you long enough! We’ve been waiting to start class for 15 minutes now!”

Me: “Well, here you go.”

(I put his mouse on the desk and start to walk out.)

Professor: “Wait, aren’t you going to install it?”

Me: “…It’s a USB mouse.”

Professor: “So? I don’t know how to install these things!”

Me: “It’s a plug-and-play mouse. Sir, you just—”

Professor: “Just install the d*** mouse!”

(At this point, I realize what I’m dealing with. I walk over, plug the mouse into the port labelled “USB” on the front of the tower, and walk out. The class erupts into laughter. The next day, he filed a complaint against the IT department for ‘Defamation and Public Humiliation’.)