The Most Awkward Conversation Of The Month

(I am recently married, and I have moved out of my apartment to live in a house with my new wife. I’m at the store buying tampons for her, when I run into my old neighbor, who I didn’t talk to very often for reasons I can’t remember.)

Neighbor: “Hey, [My Name], buying tampons for your fiancée, I see?”

(It’s been four months since I’ve seen her, and I realize she never got the memo that I had gotten married.)

Me: “Actually, I—”

Neighbor: “Oh, so they’re not for your fiancée?”

Me: “No, they’re not; they’re for…”

Neighbor: “It’s okay, you don’t have to explain yourself; I’ll just grab these and be on my way.”

(She grabs a box of tampons and leaves. I now remember why I never really opted to talk to her.)