Alarm Bells Are Going Ding-Ding

(I am seven years old, at the beach and I need to go to the bathroom. My cousin and her boyfriend take me, which was quite a walk away. After we do our business, my cousin has water on her hands and splashes it onto my neck.)

Me: “Is that pee?”

(Out of nowhere, a random old man comes out from behind one of the cars in the parking lot.)

Old Man: “Now that reminds me of a story. One time there was a monkey and lion in the forest. The monkey climbed up a tree and said, ‘Hey, lion, look! It’s raining!’ and started to pee on the lion. The next day, the monkey climbed up a tree and said, ‘Hey, lion, look! It’s snowing!’ and started pooping on the lion. Then the lion knocked him in the ding-ding.”

(We were so mortified. We all ran back to the beach and I started to cry and told my mom that the old man told us a story about his monkey’s ding-ding.)