Got That Problem Licked

(I am eight years old, and I am walking with a friend to a candy shop that just opened. The shop has pictures of various types of candy painted on the window. Unfortunately, I don’t have any money.)

Me: “Aww, I wish I had some money for candy.”

Friend: “I’ll give you $5.00 if you lick the lollipop on the window.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I lick the lollipop and then see a large piece of it is missing. I realize afterward that it was painted on the outside of the window. A man inside the store, who I assume is the owner, has noticed.)

Owner: “Hey, what did you do?

Me: “He paid me to lick it!”

Owner: “Oh, my God, come inside right now!”

(The owner took me into his office and immediately called poison control. Luckily, the paint was non-toxic. Thirty years after this happened, I visited my hometown and went to the candy shop. It was exactly the same except for a handmade sign which said, “Don’t lick the window.”)

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