Please Say You’re Just Kitten?

(I and my best friend that I grew up with are roommates in the university dorms. The dorms we live in are notorious for having the fire alarms tripped several times in a semester. I’m on my way back from class when I see everyone standing around outside my dorm building and there’s a firetruck in the parking area. I find my roommate standing outside with the rest of the residents. She and I have a rather dark sense of humor.)

Me: “[Roommate], how many times do I have to tell you not to put the cat in the microwave?”

Roommate: “I know, I know… I’m sorry. I just thought it would be an easy way to dry him after his bath. He was cold.”

Me: “You didn’t think to use the iron instead?”

Roommate: “I couldn’t find it.”

Me: “Did you try blowing on him to dry him?”

Roommate: “Yes, but it was taking too long and making him cold. At least I remembered not to wrap him in tin foil before putting him in the microwave.”

Me: “That’s true… I guess I have to give credit where credit is due. Wait, did you take off his collar first?”

Roommate: “No, was that a bad thing?”

Me: “The tags on his collar are metal.”

Roommate: “Oh, so THAT’S what I did wrong.”

(At this point we finally stopped and turned to a couple of girls, who were staring at us in horror, to explain that we were joking. They actually thought we put a cat in the microwave.)