On Its Last Legs

(I hear my neighbor scream loudly through our shared wall. Worried that she could be hurt or in trouble, I rush over to check on her.)

Me: “Are you okay? I heard a scream and was worried!”

Neighbor: “Oh, don’t worry, everything’s okay. There was a daddy long legs.”

Me: “And that’s what made you scream?”

Neighbor: “Oh, no, I’m not afraid of those. My cat ate it.”

Me: “And you screamed because your cat ate it?”

Neighbor: “No, she eats bugs all the time. That doesn’t bother me either.”

Me: “Then why did you scream?”

Neighbor: “Because after she finished eating it, she jumped up on my lap and started licking my face with one of the disembodied, twitching legs still stuck to her mouth.”