Conditioned To The Environment

(My five-year-old godson and his mom are about to move, so I’ve come into town to help them get some stuff to their new house. I borrow a friend’s 86 Mazda pickup truck to haul boxes. My godson is riding with me to Lowe’s.)

Godson: “Turn on the air conditioner so my water bottle can cool down.”

Me: “There is no air conditioner, buddy.”

Godson: “Yes, there is. It’s right there!” *points to climate control*

Me: “I can turn it to cold, but there’s no actual air conditioner. It will come out cold, though, since it’s cold outside.”

Godson: “I want to open the window. That will make it cool inside so my water will get cool.” *searches the door* “How do you open the window, Uncle [My Name]?””

Me: *points* “See that handle right there?”

Godson: “This one?” *grabs the door pull*

Me: *trying to shift gears and point* “No, that one.’ *he leans forward in car seat and grabs the window crank* “Yeah, that one. Now push it forward. Good job, buddy.”

(Later, his mom, her boyfriend, my godson, and I are all at dinner.)

Me: “Well, I taught a five-year-old how to use a manual hand crank today.”

Boyfriend: “Something he’ll never have to use again in his life.”