The Microwave Has Fifty Shades Of Settings

(My friend has just moved out of her parents’ house and is living on her own now.)

Friend: “Yeah, I’m doing really well so far. I’ve got a bunch of adult accessories now.”

Me: “Adult accessories…?”

Friend: “Yeah, like a microwave, cleaning supplies. All that stuff.”

Me: “Ah, that makes more sense.”

Friend: “More sense than what?” *pause* “Oh, my god, you absolute perv!”