The Bigger They Are The Harder They Fall

(I’m waiting to be served at a local bar. The town is packed with tourists as there is a major food festival on. The man next to me at the bar – clearly a visitor to the town – is being an absolute turd to the barmaid, and I can’t hide my disgust.)

Visitor: *turns to me* “I suppose you think I’m the biggest w**ker you’ve ever met?”

Me: “No, I’ve met far bigger w**kers than you.”

(He nods, takes his drink, and moves to his group of friends. A few minutes later, he comes back.)

Visitor: “I only just realised what you said. GREAT put-down.”