My Beautiful Dumbo

(I am nine pounds, ten ounces when I am born: very fat and squishy. My mother is standing outside the nursery, admiring me through the window, and beside her is another new mother, admiring her own baby.)

Other Mom: *pointing at newborn-me and laughing* “Look at that baby with the cauliflower ears!”

My Mom: “…I am sure the mother of that baby thinks she is the most beautiful baby ever.”