When Making Friends Don’t Be Scared To Break A Leg

(I’m visiting my friend in hospital. His room is a four-bed ward and has a view into the football oval where one of the local teams has practice.)

Me: “Hey, man, you got a cool view. You can watch the local team practice.”

Friend: “Pfft, footy is a p***y’s game.”

(A voice pipes up from the bed across from my friend.)

Other Patient: “Hey, kid, watch your tongue. Some people like footy.”

(I laugh and turn around to see who’s talking. I get a fright when I see the guy in the bed across from my friend, a massive bloke covered in tattoos and with a broken leg, glaring at us.)

Friend: “Yeah, whatever. It’s still a p***y’s game. Are you going to make me shut up? You can’t walk.”

Other Patient: “True, but I can hop.”

(Just as I’m starting to get scared that my friend is going to be thrown out the window or something, the big guy and my friend start laughing.)

Other Patient: *to me* “Hey, love, you can relax. We’ve been taking the piss out of each other for days.”

(We got chatting and he turned out to be a really nice, not so scary guy.)

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