Leave Him To Lick His Wounds

(A friend of mine and I are in the cinema while the coming attractions are running. In the row before ours, there are a couple of cute girls, which I know will mean my friend will make a fool of himself sooner or later. Following the ice cream ad, the ice cream lady comes around.)

Ice Cream Lady: “Do you want some ice cream?”

My Friend: “No, I’m going to lick something else later.”

(The girls in front of us fall abruptly silent as they hear it, and I have had enough.)

Me: “Stop bragging. You’re not flexible enough!”

(The girls start laughing while my friend curses my guts!)