Unfiltered Story #28276

(I am the author of Friendship Bride-Fades Away. About six months into our marriage, my wife has had no contact with Friend, who caused all kinds of drama and wound up dropping out of the wedding party 11 days before the wedding, and told us by writing on the event page on Facebook. And then tried to get her mother to guilt us into letting her back into the wedding the day before. I have to work the day my wife meets up with an old friend of hers who’s friends with Friend.)

Wife: “You’re not going to believe what I found out today.”

Me: “Oh no.”

Wife: “So I was talking to Old Friend, and it turns out that Friend has been telling everyone how you’re a terrible person and have “stolen me” from all my friends and how you’re no good for me.”

Me: “You can’t be serious.”

Wife: “Yup! And even though Old Friend hasn’t met you in person yet, she knows you’re doing me a lot of good. I’ve held down a job for over a year now, I don’t binge drink anymore, the apartment is actually clean, and I’ve had all my cavities filled.”

Me: “Well technically the apartment’s clean because I make you clean when I go on a cleaning spree…”

Wife: “Shush! Let me bask. Oh, and also Old Friend told Friend that dropping out of the wedding like she did was a dick move and that she should apologize.”

Me: “How’d that go?”

Wife: “I got a text from Friend. It says, and I quote: We can’t be friends as long as she is your wife. She’s no good for you and by the time you realize it you’ll have no friends left. Don’t contact me again.”

Me: *banging head against wall* “I hate her. I’m sorry, I know she was your friend for like seven years, but I hate her.”

Wife: “Yeah, I kinda do too. The funny thing is this is the first time I’ve heard from her since the wedding, so that whole ‘don’t contact me again’ line just makes me laugh.”

(Despite Friend claiming she wanted nothing to do with my wife, she would randomly call my mother-in-law and whine to her about how I’ve supposedly ruined my wife’s life. My MIL finally told her to “F*** off”, and, other than passive-aggressive Facebook posts that are pretty clearly aimed at my wife that our friends like to tell us about- we haven’t heard from her since.)