Unfiltered Story #27950

(We were talking about the recent Metal Gear Solid V: Phantom Pain video game. For the unfamiliar, the main character’s ‘name’ is Punished Snake.)

Friend #1: Dude, have you look at Big Boss’s fine butt? The engine is awesome, man; it certainly looks mighty fine.

Me: Indeed. Our Mr. S certainly have a nice S.

Friend #2: Couldn’t agree more. I could eat that bacon whole even when it’s wrinkled and old.

Me: I know, right? Butt, there’s one thing about him that I can’t seem to put behind.

Friend #2: Rear-lly? What’s that?

Me: Where does he kept all that arsenal without a visible backpack? He can’t be carrying an invisible trunk, right? Because I’m sure a trunk full of grenades, bullets, and fulton balloons would really stick out.

Friend #1: Oh please you two, get yourself a private session and leave your jokes behind! I’m eating a meat bun, and I almost choked, you know?

Me: Says the pot to the kettle…