800 Ears But She Wasn’t Listening

Boyfriend: “One time, I got wicked drunk. I got into a fight with this jar head.”

Me: “I really don’t think you’re going to achieve anything telling me this story.”

Boyfriend: “But you don’t even know how it ends!”

Me: “It started with you being drunk and in a fight; there aren’t many places it could go.”

Boyfriend: “It wasn’t a physical fight! I told him there were on average, 800 kernels on an ear of corn. He didn’t believe me.”

Me: “How did this fight end?”

Boyfriend: “He had his buddy buy an ear of corn and counted them all. He was rather dumb about it. I mean, he could have just googled it.”

Me: “Pants. Off. Now.”