1-800-KRYPTON

Me: “Dispatch, how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I have an alarm going off.”

Me: “Okay, do you happen to have an account number?”

Caller: “No, I moved into this house five years ago and inherited the alarm system.”

Me: “All right, address?”

Caller: *gives address*

Me: “Sir, I didn’t receive any notifications. Can you hold for a few minutes while I confirm with our other station?”

Caller: “I guess…”

(I call our other station; they tell me they have no record of the alarm.)

Me: “Sir?”

Caller: “Yes, yes, what?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Is the alarm still going off?”

Caller: “Yes, can’t you hear? Listen, I am a very important lawyer and I demand you turn this alarm off!”

Me: “Sir, our alarms reset in ten–”

Caller: “No, you listen to me, you little s***! I’d better not miss my meetings because you can’t turn off this alarm!”

(I hear the alarm getting louder and I’m pretty sure he can’t hear me, so…)

Me: “SON OF JOR-EL! KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!”

(The alarm in the background shuts off.)

Caller: “Oh, wow! Thank you! Thank you so much!”

Me: “No problem, sir!”